Mr. Man and the Animal Kingdom

As you may remember, Mr. Man is pretty good with animals.

He is a distinguished horseman. He's noted for being a supporter of the ASPCA. He's admired and adored by all members of the animal kingdom. He's just got a way with beasts.

He's even admired by non-terrestrial creatures.

Mr. Man is a manly man, doncha know, and he's capable of taming even the most ferocious beasts.

Real men ride whales.

Yes, Mr. Man is great with animals.

nom

.......errrr....most of the time.

Meet Mr. Man

This is Mr. Man.

Mr. Man is the ultimate man.  He's strong, he's muscular, he's good-looking; the perfect speciman of eye candy.  But hey, looks aren't everything!  Mr. Man is the ultimate man in many other ways, too!  Mr. Man is the perfect man for any and every woman, and he can be your ultimate man no matter what you're like.

Are you barely 4'11''? That's okay!

Mr. Man likes petite women.

Mr. Man likes bigger women, too.

Mr. Man is in touch with his feminine side.

Mr. Man is musically talented, and capable of serenading you!

Mr. Man is also an intellectual who loves to read stimulating, informative, classic literature.

And most importantly, Mr. Man can even cook!



How's THAT for "Breakfast of Champions"



Now look at your man, now back at Mr. Man. Now look back at your man, now back at Mr. Man.

I'm on a horse.

........................................................

I have over 20 pictures of Mr. Man. You will see more of him.

The Origin Story of Mr. Man

New Years Eve, 2010.  My mom decides she'd like to go mosey around the local thrift store, see if maybe we can't dig up something we like. If nothing else, it'll be nice to spend some time together before I go back to college.  We don't find much as far as clothing goes, but we do find a little action figure.  Mom makes a joke about "There's you a man."  Mom decides to send a picture of our man to Olivia, one of her students and a friend. (My mom teachers high school math.) We set up a funny background for Mr. Man. Then we find him a literal trophy wife. About this time we start calling him Mr. Man.  The trophy wife is much shorter than Mr. Man, and we think it will make Olivia laugh if we tell her that Mr. Man likes petite women because Olivia is 16 years old and barely 4'10''. If that.

It isn't long before we decide to keep finding photo-ops for Mr. Man.  By the time we are ready to leave the store, we have decided to buy Mr. Man and continue his adventures. Unfortunately, it turns out that Mr. Man was supposed to come in a plastic bag with a bunch of other wrestling action figures, but some kids got into the back and scattered the manly men all over the place, and the store can't sell the figures individually.  However, I was by this point determined to own Mr. Man and continue the magical humiliation.  At some point, Mr. Man will be returned to a bag, repriced, and set out for sale. Where I will buy him. Or, I'll find out who he is and find a replacement. One way or another, Mr. Man's adventures will continue.

What is with this whole thing?

He's a super-duper buff action figure with a perpetual plastic glare. His face is EXACTLY like this: >:C  And I find it hilarious to juxtapose hime with uber-feminine frilly things, or ridiculous plastic toys, or anything that contrasts starkly with his hyper!manly, hyper!angry appearance.

I don't think that's funny.

I'm not here to please you. I find it funny.

I would hope that you do too.

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